Bared... 11 spookiest places in Tagbilaran

Tagbilaran, Monday, 1 November 2010 04:05:35

Inspired by Lonely Planet's picks of seven of the creepiest selections from around the globe: Has a place ever given you the creeps? It could be a school, an office building, a small house... and you might not be able to put your finger on why, but something about it was just plain spooky.

Almost every barangay or town has haunted and chilling tales to tell. We asked our friends and readers to nominate their choice for the spookiest places in Tagbilaran City.

Here are 11 of the creepiest selections:

What would you nominate as the spookiest place in Tagbilaran?

Each year, on November 1 (All Saints Day) and November 2 (All Souls Days), we troop to the cemetery to visit our dead ones. It is one way of assuring ourselves that our departed ones are truly gone temporarily separated from us. That one day we shall be together again in Summerland with the Infinite Intelligent.

I can't resist sharing a chapter from one of my favorite books (shared by friend Ricky Lo of Philippine Star), You Can't Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams for many times. This is where some dear friends are today…this is dedicated to all the people out there who have lost a parent or a loved one and can't quite figure out what happened or are finding it hard to come to terms with their great, irreplaceable loss.

Learn to mourn

This is a lifetime of goodbyes. As the years go on, you'll say goodbye to both people (through moving, change, or death) and things (youth, that semi-tight body you once had, hair, prized possessions). Eventually, you'll say goodbye to it all with your own death.

Learning to mourn, to grieve, to say a goodbye, is an invaluable tool.

When a loss takes place, the mind, body and emotions go through a process of healing as natural as the healing of a physical injury. Know that feeling lost, sad, angry, hurt, fearful and tearful at goodbyes is a natural part of the healing process.

We recover from the loss in three distinct but overlapping phases. The first phase of recovery is shock/denial/numbness; the second, fear/anger/depression; the third, understanding/acceptance/moving on.

No matter what the loss--from a missed phone call to the death of a loved one--the body goes through the same three phases of recovery. The only difference is the time it takes to go through each stage and the intensity of the feelings at each point along the way.

When we first hear of a loss, our initial reaction is shock/denial/numbness. Often we say, "Oh no!" We can't believe what we've heard. We go numb.

This ability to deny and go numb is a blessing. Catastrophic losses are too hard to take all at once. It has been suggested that the reason some people have slow, terminal illnesses as their method of dying is because it's going to take them a long time to say goodbye, and they want to do it right.

The next phase, fear/anger/depression, is the one most commonly associated with loss. We think we'll never love or be loved again (fear). We wail against the situations, people, things, and unkind fates that "caused" the loss (anger). We cry, we feel sad, we hurt, we don't want to go on (depression).

One of the toughest feelings to accept is anger at the one who us dying (even if it's yourself). "Why are you leaving me?!" a voice inside wants to know. To feel angry at someone for dying, or angry at yourself over your own death, is perfectly normal. It's a natural stage of recovery that one must pass through. (Pass through-not remain in.)

Finally, we come to understanding/acceptance/moving on.

We understand that loss is part of life. We accept the loss we suffered, and begin to heal. When healing is well under way, we move on to our next experiences.

I put this information on grieving in the section "Act-centuate the Positive" because mourning is a positive human ability. It allows us the flexibility to adapt to change. It is not "negative to fell pain, fear and anger at loss. It's natural, human response. The negativity enters when the process of healing is suppressed, glossed over and denied.

Accept the process. Accept the numbness, the fear, the pain, the anger, the sadness, the tears and eventually, accept the healing.

Accepting the healing can be difficult. People may expect you to mourn, longer than you find necessary, or they may want your mourning to "hurry up." People often offer comfort to ease their own discomfort. "There, there," the say," everything's all right," when, in fact, everything is not all right.

Grieving must be done in its own time.


Leo P. Udtohan