Saturday 24 August 2019 10:23:46 PHT

Bared... Hula Hula Who 2012

Tagbilaran, Tuesday, 10 January 2012

C'mon let us sing the Puff, The Magic Dragon (a song written by Leonard Lipton and Peter Yarrow, and made popular by Yarrow's group Peter, Paul and Mary) to make all those dragons happy:

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

For those who love a little bit of trivia: Chinese dragons have five toes, Korean dragons have four toes and Japanese dragons have three toes. It is said that the farther dragons travel from their home in China, the more toes they are likely to lose. When these perambulating dragons return home, all their missing toes grow back. Since most dragons prefer to keep all their toes, all the time, few dragons ever stray very far from home.


It's finally 2012! The most interesting year because there has been an increased interest in the ancient Mayan writings that on December 21, 2012 is the end of the world. Some Mayan elders say it will mark a time of destruction and the end of civilization. However, some scholars suggest that it's not the end of the world but a time of transition from one world age into another.

Whatever it is, let the dragon enter! Most astrologers and feng shui experts say that 2012, the year of the Yang Water Dragon (January 23, 2012 - February 9, 2013), brings many possibilities for good fortune. "In Chinese astrology, the dragon is quite special and very much revered and is the only animal of the Chinese zodiac year that is not real," says my Chinese friend.

It is also the season of hula hula or tagna tagna where all forms of mananagna, fake or real, are being hunted for their services. I must take a bow because last year's Hula Hula Who was ehem 95% true! Clap! Clap! Clap! Believe it or not but through the years, Bared has had a better batting average (read: more credible, He! He! He! He!). As I told you before, there's no need wrapping your head with a turban like you –know-who or consulting a mananagna, fondling mutya or crystal ball, shuffling a deck of cards or scanning the sky to "foretell" what's in store for our favorite Boholanos in the next 12 months, but only believing my troops of Very Reliable Sources (VRS) here and everywhere.

I'm dishing out my traditional "Hula Hula Who" for 2012, the Year of the Dragon.

Brace yourselves:

Anna Maris Igpit and Glenn Soco won't be tying the knot this year... and neither will Mayor Rey Niño Boniel and his sexy girlfriend... nor Dominic "Dobap" Aparicio (for what?) and his girlfriend (is there any?) will plan to settle down this year.

Mayor Cary Camacho, Atty. Brian Gaviola, Doc Homer Singco, Doc Renz Acedo and Atty. Kokoy Lim will remain loveless (but not for long). Hello, beautiful and sexy girlfriends!

Karla Tirol Magno and Tsino Lim will not marry this year or in the near future. They will just continue to enjoy their blissful togetherness. (Oops, there goes my crystal ball again, becoming blurred... He! He! He! He!)

Eden Descallar will tie the knot this year (no more sukob this year) because she's ready and so her boyfriend who can't wait for another year.

Prony, the largest python in captivity, will find a new home. However, Paloma/Marimar will take a break.

Jane Cajes and husband Baba Yap's first-born will be a girl.

Loida Lagonoy will finally, finally! meet the "man of her dreams." Oops... The crystal ball didn't say if they will get married.

Centerstage Band will release their long-awaited debut album and Fr. Fro Lungay and Meo Mascariñas will release their second album.

Boholano actors whose star will shine even brighter in Year 2012--and beyond: Cesar Montano, Rich Asuncion, Lailette Boiser and Tintin Ng who will be given another break in movies and teleseryes.

More controversies will rock this year's Miss Bohol Sandugo. Otherwise, a "quiet" Miss Bohol will not be a "usual" Miss Bohol at all.

Fashion icon EJ Relampagos will be in the limelight. International teh!

Tessie Labunog-Sumampong and her family will enjoy a bakasyon grande! Hello America!

Betty Veloso-Garcia will be home this Valentine's Day. She will be busy preparing for the Tigum Bol-anon in Tibuok Kalibutan (TBTK) this coming May.

Bohol's Queen of Tourism Rose Soy will be busy in other things and she will relinquish her crown as Santacruzan Queen.

Mikey Gatal will make an earth shaking revelation about his lovelife.

The "war" between Mayor Dan Neri Lim and others will continue to "sour" into highest level. Someone will intervene but... (Oops! The crystal ball suddenly becomes blurred He! He! He! He!)

KatKat Schoof and Bryant Chu might expect a stork visit. Their eldest deserves a little brother or a little sister. The crystal ball says that Dra. Aileen Tan-Magdoza and Vida Tirol-de Juan will experience morning sickness.

Bohol will be the set location of a movie. No elaboration.

dyRD will initiate major reformatting of some of its shows. As the radio shakes and rattles, heads will surely roll.

AND NOW, THE BLIND ITEMS ‘HULA HULA WHO'

A gay marriage will happen in Bohol by known personalities. (My crystal ball didn't show where in Bohol but it looks like white sandy beach.)

A high-ranking official will discover the "snakes" inside the office. (The crystal ball didn't specify "he" or "she" the ranking official is).

Two weddings of prominent families will happen this year. It will be merged of power and influence.

The marriage of a young businesswoman and a law expert will ever reach the altar will go through a rough road and, if they don't watch out, might hit splitsville.

A young daughter of a town executive will follow the man she loved even at the end of the rainbow.

A big event this May will be livelier but only few will attend. Moreover, controversies will continue.

A beauty queen will have no choice but confess that she has been having an illicit affair to her newly-found prince charming. The prince charming will bring her to his kingdom.

To generate publicity on Facebook, these young models aka pa-cute models will pretend that they are breaking up. Their "fake "break-up might end up for real.

A high-ranking official who is known for his claws will get involved in a politically-motivated controversy.

A controversial couple will break up due to financial difficulties.

A separated couple will bury the hatchet and kiss and make up. Sweet!

Boholano beauties will bring pride to Bohol in a national tilt! The crystal ball reveals the letters LL and KD!

Expect pregnancies out of wedlock this year. Like a beauty queen and a young sexy model who will get pregnant out of wedlock and the "culprits" will simply vanish.

Separated sweethearts but "still friends" will find new partners.

There will be prominent Boholanos who will become victims of scams and identity theft on Facebook and other social networks. Facebook and Twitter are not your real friends!

A resort and another business establishment will declare bankruptcy. A rich company will come to the rescue!

Another high-ranking official in the province will find himself enmeshed in a controversy due to immorality.

A prominent couple long suspected of having marital problems will reveal to the whole world that, yes, yes, yes, they've been estranged all these years even if they've been living under one roof (but sleeping in separate beds?). And they are ready to find partners.

A new band will rise with popularity this year.

A businessman-politician will hog headlines because of money-related anomalies.

More sexy videos of prominent who's who will be spread via the Internet and cellphones.

A showbiz-oriented talk show will fade out. No elaboration.

Another block time radio program will fade out. No elaboration.

A new singer from Bohol will make name this year. The singer is of one the few Boholanos who will give honor to Bohol.

An international performer (whose parents are from Bohol) will come home.

A radio personality will send feelers for a return to the original home station which this personality left a few years ago but the home station will simply turn a deaf ear.

Expect shocking revelations from young male socialites (who have pa-macho image) that they are out! See how the birds of the same feather flock together! Maya-maya or paminta will be most welcomed!

The rainbow of a messenger of the Word, a politician, an artist, a beauty pageant watcher, a topnotch lawyer, a media man, a philanthropist, and a model will no longer be seen... forever (knock on the wood three times!).

A natural calamity will put Bohol in the headline. Knock on the wood! Please pray.

A controversial project will push through despite controversies and protests. Oops, the crystal ball shows people like ravenous wolves prowling the earth consuming everything in their path.

More scandals will rock the political scene. As usual, some lawmakers will try to get media mileage by threatening to initiate a "probe."

Another veteran politician will drastically change his political plans for fear of being mercilessly clobbered by his opponent in 2013 May elections.

Towards the end of the year, more (old and veteran) people will declare their intention of running in the 2013 elections. Some will do mudslinging in the last quarter of the year. But, sad to say, only a few of them will win.

The year has only begun and there's still 11 months this 2012 to watch and see for more surprises!


Thanks for your letters, all will be answered. Comments welcome at leoudtohan@yahoo.com, follow leoudtohan at Twitter or email at Facebook.

Leo P. Udtohan

What readers think...

Fan wrote:
Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:23:18 PHT
Very interesting on how and when Mikey Gatal will reveal his love life :)
Angkoldoy wrote:
Wednesday, 11 January 2012 13:34:15 PHT
With respect to your fellow island people on the Island of Kauai in the Hawaiian Island chain, the lyric is :..from a land called Hanalei... in the Island favorite: Puff, the Magic Dragon.

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