Usually don't bother writing reviews about my stays but this particular one was so terrible that I feel compelled to let other potential travelers know about it.

Despite the bad reviews found online, I still booked this hotel because it was the only one left with rooms available in early October. 2009. Only later did I understand the reason for this availability.

There had been clues which I failed to notice: the Flushing Meadows Resort and Playground (FMRP) has a name which is totally adequate: with its kinky dinosaur park and tennis court, it has more of an amusement park than a beach resort. The problem is if I had wanted to see colorful prehistoric animals and tennis balls, I would have gone to Queens (NY) rather than to the Word Class diving area which is Bohol.

Now let me summarize all my points so that you can make your own opinion:

The beach: the only stretch of sand, on the lower part of the resort, is so narrow that when the tide is up, there is no beach at all. Actually, the FMRP has probably managed to build the only resort in Bohol which turns its back to the sea.

Rooms: I am not sure what qualifies this resort for the 4-star rating but the rooms are so hideous that it forces you to stay outside. If you add to this the fact there was no hot water, that TV was not working properly, that there is no wireless connection, you cant fail but to wonder why the room rates are so outrageously expensive. It is all a matter of expectation: should the rooms were PHP1,000, I would have been lenient. But at PHP6,000 per night, you tend to be demanding.

Location: the problem is once outside with the dinosaurs, you cannot go anywhere because the resort is totally isolated. I only learned later that most resorts are located in Alona beach, which is further south, for the very good reason that this is the most beautiful stretch of beach on the island. And as a result, this is also where all the entertainments is (restaurants, bars, shops, dive centers and hotels) at a price approximately 5 times lower than in FMRP. Should you not believe me, please check the location of the resort on a map.

Dishonesty: I booked a double-bed McEnroe superior room at PHP6000/night, which was supposed to face the sea with a balcony. When I arrived, the staff led us without any warning to our room, which was a room facing the parking lot. Now, when I raised the issue of the twin beds, the staff just joined the 2 beds together. When I told them that it was not what I had booked, they told me there was no more double-bed room available (first lie). Given the high price tag, I still went and talked to the manager, who “managed” after I insisted to find me a real double-bed room. It is only later that I noticed that we had been assigned a Lendl bedroom, facing the parking lot, because the McEnroe rooms were facing the restaurant which was under renovation (second lie).

Food: the restaurant being under renovation, we had the pleasure to eat the exact same breakfast (scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, rice, garlic rice and “tang”-like orange juice) every morning at the so-called “racket” cafe, facing the garden and turning its back, once again, to the sea. After that, the quality and price tag of the food being so bad, we decided to desert the place for all our meals.

Value for money: as explained above, not only the value-for-money verges on the scam, but it was not what I had paid for. Note that at some stage I thought I had lost the key to the room and they asked me PHP3,600 to replace it (yes, three thousand and six hundred pesos for a key, your eyes are not deceiving you). In addition, all the activities quoted (island hopping, countryside tour) are marked up 100% Vs outside rates.

My advice

First and foremost, do not set a foot in this resort. I have been staying in Asia for the last 10 years and I have never seen such a total scam. This is mostly due to extremely poor management and the staff are probably helpless.

Secondly, never pay anything in advance unless you are absolutely sure of what you get. I got stuck in this hotel because I had paid 7 nights in advance. Trust me, the feeling of being “held hostage” is not a nice one.

Thirdly, don't yield to panic about room availability: whereas all websites I had visited mentioned there was no room available, the fact on the ground turned to be very different. After renting a motorbike and touring the islands, I realized there were tens of resorts and hotels still available, with a much better location, for prices 4 to 5 times cheaper (but indeed, without the tennis court and the dinosaurs).

Finally, go local! Tour the island yourself and mix with the locals. The Bohol people are extremely friendly. We had the great pleasure to meet a local young guide who brought us in his village to an annual fiesta (festival) and this is a very enjoyable memory that saved the day.